How do you Handle a Child's Fear of the Dark?

Childhood fears usually start around the age of six months with the beginning of stranger anxiety. Following this normal stage of development, children around a year experience a new fear: separation anxiety. Both of these two crucial stages of development are based on fears of the unknown and the desire to feel safe and secure. The fear of the dark is simply another stage of this development process. Older children have greater vocabulary to describe their fears, but their imagination is still untapped and overzealous.

Knowing this is a stage that will pass for most children will help parents to relax and take the time to patiently work through a fear of the dark. Even some adults still harbor this fear that is usually born within the realm of childhood. Having a relaxed patient parent to discuss fears with and resolve them, will help most children break out of the cycle, and not carry this fear into adulthood.

Start by acknowledging your child’s fear as real. Even though you know there are no monsters hiding in the dark, your child truly believes there are. To simply brush off fears as unrealistic shows disrespect and will not help your child work through the fear. Instead, reassure the child that everyone, including the parent, feels scared sometimes. Check in the closet, look under the bed, but try to avoid getting too caught up in the scenario. The idea is to calm the child and ease feelings of insecurity.

If the fear of the dark remains constant, think about the pre-bedtime routine. Avoid television and scary stories before bed. Ask probing questions to try and determine exactly why the dark is so fearful. Stay close by the room and check on the child often to reassure that you will keep him or her safe. Provide a comfort object to look over them or a nightlight. Even a flashlight in bed can provide a sense of control over the dark.

If the fear is extreme and hard for the child to explain, parents may want to involve their pediatrician. There may be underlying causes and a professional will give the appropriate guidance.

How Does a New Mom Find Time to Shop?

As a new mom, it can be hard to find the time to do anything other than feed, burp and change a baby. Exhaustion is only one of the conflicts; with the demands of a newborn at your side the list is endless. What do you do when a friend has a special event coming up like a wedding? Maybe it is simpler than that; you just need another carton of milk from the local store. In this day and age, a new mom has more options than our mothers and grandmothers did before us. We have access to a large marketplace at the touch of a computer mouse, labeled the Web. With many markets offering grocery delivery service to numerous areas or bridesmaid gifts found on a variety of web stores, a new mom can feed, burp and shop all at the same time. To avoid unnecessary messes, you might want to leave the diaper changing until after you have shut down the computer!

How Do I Find Quality Parenting Advice?

As parents we are always in need of support and guidance every once in awhile and for many that translates into everyday. Where is the best place to look for parenting advice? How does one gather parenting tips at those times of need? While many books and magazines cover a range of information, the best advice always comes from the most immediate source, other parents. The Mom Connection is designed to be one of your gathering places, as you should never stop after one piece of advice. As parents we know each child is an individual and each situation is unique. The only true way to find good parenting advice is to gather as many tips as possible, then use this information to form your own perspective.

I encourage you to start here, at Mom2Mom. Ask me any question or express a concern. Email me directly through the link at the side bar. I commit to responding to each question within a few days; providing my honest opinion and opening the forum for others to join in. Help us on this journey and comment on the other questions. Setting the stage for fellow families to gather their own information collection.

How Do You Handle Bullying?

Bullying on the playground, classroom, and cafeteria has drawn national attention due to the connection to violence at various schools throughout our nation. Children as young as four have been observed engaged in bullying behaviors such as teasing and name-calling. The rewards are social power and the influence will continue throughout grade school and into high school. In our technological society, these bullies are even prowling the Internet highway.

In the past, teasing and social cruelty was portrayed as one of the numerous parts of childhood. But current research has shown that these interactions have lasting affects on the entire life of a child. Communication with your child is your first defense against bullying as a parent. At the youngest age, begin to have conversations practicing discussing issues at school.

If you discover or suspect your child is being bullied, find a quiet time to talk. Ask open-ended questions and share your own personal experiences. If your child shares an instance of bullying, ask them first what they want to do to remedy the situation. Respect his/her wishes, by either getting involved or simply helping your child to feel empowered to stop the negative interactions on his/her own. Role play scenarios and discuss preventive tactics. Find other ways to boast your child’s self-esteem through positive friendships or activities.

The other possible option is that you determine your child is the bully. What do you do now? Start by evaluating yourself and begin to make changes in your behavior. Be a positive role model and structure your discipline techniques to be less violent and calmer. Role play ideas for your child to calm down instead of becoming aggressive practicing assertive behavior instead. Encourage a bullying child to provide service to others, helping through community organizations. Just as with the victim, the bully will often need activities that encourage self-esteem instead of putting others down to feel confident and powerful.